didn't sleep well

Go to www.teamfortress.com. There's an image at the top of the page showing the 9 different characters. When you mouse over each character they become highlighted, indicating that they can be clicked on to go to their profile page.

And if you very slowly move the mouse cursor from one character to another, you'll find there's a tiny little gap as you cross from one character to the next. A brief moment when both characters become de-highlighted. Like there's a little channel separating the hotspots. This happens everywhere where one character's graphic joins another.

BUT.

There is one exception: the join between the Scout and the Soldier. If you mouse over and highlight the Scout and slowly scroll over to the Soldier, or vice versa, one highlights and the other simultaneously de-highlights. There is no separating border where both become de-highlighted.

If you mouse over the Scout and move to the Pyro, the gap is there. If you mouse over the Soldier and move to the Engineer, the gap is there. If you mouse over any other character and move to its next-door neighbour, every single time, there is a gap. It's just between the Scout and Soldier where there is no gap. It is impossible to position your mouse between them without highlighting either.

WHAT

DOES

THIS

MEAN

Merlin' In A Winter Wonderland

Merry Christmas, viewers. Here's a present for you: Gabriel finally managed to dislodge his thumb from its usual comfort zone (up his butt) to record a gameplay video of Young Merlin. Then we jabbered over it, as is our funny little way, for the benefit of any other total saddoes who have nothing better to do throughout the Christmas season than watch Youtube videos.

The game turned out to be a bit slow and backtracky, so our conversation had a slightly unfortunate tendency to drift back to cocks a lot.

UPDATE 23/12: Things only gets worse in part two!

UPDATE 26/12: Events shudder messily to a climax!

Green X And Com

The above image of a random recruit in X-Com: Enemy Unknown comes courtesy of Jacob, via my email. He assures me that it came from a friend's game and that he didn't edit the name or callsign beyond what the game assigned it. So either Jacob's friend is a big fat liar, or I am officially being shouted out by the developers of X-Com. That was nice of you, developers of X-Com! Look out for my ZP review in the next few weeks! Hope it doesn't jeopardise my new career as a space marine!

Release Day

 

 Happy Jam day! My new book's now released! Let's celebrate with a toast. Toast and jam.

Strawberry Fields Forever

So, the release of my new book is very very soon. In case anyone missed it, I wrote a little survival guide to being trapped in a Jam situation for the Dark Horse blog. Here's a little taster:

Q. Is there any protection from the jam?

A. First of all, the suggestion that peanut butter might counteract the jam has long stopped being funny.

It has been observed that absorbable substances (vegetable matter, wood, organic fabrics, flesh, etc.) can be safely immersed in the jam if they are completely sealed in an unabsorbable substance (metal, stone, plastic, molten lava, etc.). Wrapping your limbs in several layers of plastic bags may provide enough protection to recover vital objects from the jam, such as prescription medication. Citizens doing so, however, must accept full responsibility for any subsequent downturn in fortune and/or bodily mass.

The only surefire protection from the jam is to remain indoors, at least one story above ground level, in a nonwooden building.

Q. I was in a wooden building, outdoors, or on the ground floor at the moment the jam arrived. What can I do?

A. You are currently dead. Since you are reading this, we would like to suggest that you resolve whatever issues of the flesh keep you fettered to the mortal realm.

For more advice to live by, click here for the full article.

How Enchanting

Let's Play. Curse of Enchantia. That is all.

And the next one will come up at around half past when we fucking feel like it. I don't know how clear I can make this but no amount of nagging on comments and Twitter will expediate new LPs because we both have other work to do and this is an indulgent side hobby at best. So shut your face.

Mogworld The Audiobook

 

THE AUDIOBOOK!

Click here to buy from iTunes!

Click here to buy from Audible!

Ho yes, this is actually a thing that is being done. Bet you thought I was hoping you'd forgotten about the promise of a Mogworld audiobook, right? That I'd been spending these quiet months sitting around in my pants eating Spotted Dick from the can? Oh ye of little faith. Actually it was Heinz Sticky Toffee Pudding. But importantly, there was a microphone set up next to my fat mouth and I recorded Mogworld between syrupy gulps.

It came to over 13 hours in length and about 1.4GB in total, it's fully unabridged and narrated by me, and let me tell you this: having to listen to thirteen hours of your own voice four or five times over for editing purposes has got to be someone's idea of an ironic Hell.

It's being published by the obliging chaps at Open Book Audio, and after a fairly lengthy approvals process it is now available on the big audiobook networks, meaning iTunes and Audible.com. But if you're one of those tiresome indie types it's also available on a few smaller networks. A full list of places that are selling it can be found on Mogworld's Open Book Audio page.

I'll answer the obvious question: no, I don't read it at Zero Punctuation speeds because that would be mental, and the audiobook format calls for a gentler, more relaxing approach than a hate-ridden 5 minute internet video. And incidentally un-learning how to talk fast was really hard and someone had better appreciate it.

Edit: Addendum: