Saturday, October 29, 2011

Hello There

Welp, guess it's pretty cocky of me to assume anyone's still checking this blog on a regular basis, but for what it's worth, I haven't forgotten it. Just seems like all I do is post links to new ZPs and XPs on the Escapist, and that doesn't make a whole lot of sense when more people check the Escapist regularly than they do this site. So I'm not going to bother anymore. In future, assume there's a new Zero Punctuation video every Wednesday (Thursday for me) and a new Extra Punctuation column every Tuesday (Wednesday for me, fucking international date line). If there isn't, I am probably already being sued for not fulfilling my contract.

Fact is, I've put off updating this site and doing pretty much anything except my professional obligations because I've had another flare-up of the old depression that's been building up for quite some time. I'm on top of it, though. Don't feel you need to post sympathies because there's nothing more excruciating than people walking on eggshells around - oh, you weren't planning to post sympathies? Oh. Well, good. Good, actually.

Before you close this tab, O bored and inattentive reader, there's a couple of upcoming things on the horizon that may interest you. I've been working on another freeware game. That's a redundant statement because I'm always doing that, but I'm close to finishing one for once.

I'm just waiting on some more testing and some music tracks from the ever-willing Mark Lovegrove, and it won't be long before it's in a releasable state. It's a platform game that I've been making in Game Maker, for want of expanding my knowledge of free game development tools for retards, with a Metroidvania-style explorative sprawl to its nature. I may have dropped hints about it in Extra Punctuation here and there. I'll keep you posted.

The other interesting thing is an update on Mogworld. The digital edition is still pending, for all you people with a really big guilt thing over dead trees, but as I've said before, that one is out of my hands. If you want someone to nag, you'd be better off nagging the publishers Dark Horse directly. Tell them you and all your friends will buy the digital edition and they'll probably make enough money for them to have fresh flowers in the lobby every single day. That might help.

But after a certain amount of nagging on my part Dark Horse have also released to me the audio book rights of Mogworld so that I can record it myself and publish it independently. So, not to put too fine a point on it, I'm going to be doing that. It's just a matter of summoning the effort to do so, which for reasons explored early in this update may be harder than it sounds, but I think if I advertise it here it'll put pressure on me. Also, have to figure out how I'm going to do the chat log bits in spoken form.

So, yay, audio book version of Mogworld coming soon. You'll be able to listen to the text in my dulcet tones while jogging or murdering or whatever you do. It'll probably tide you over until my second novel comes out WHOOPS YOU DIDN'T HEAR THAT

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

None Too Trivial

Here we go again because I put off updating for a while:

ZPs: FEAR 3, Ocarina of Time 3D, Call of Juarez: The Cartel
XPs: Oh just go down the archive page

Now, I must apologise for there not being a quiz in the Brisbane Mana Bar this week, because I'm preparing for the inaugural trivia night at Melbourne when I head down to that other city next week.

I've made the details tiresomely clear many times over the last 30 quizzes I've done in Brisbane, but here they are again for you shiny new Melbourne peeps: show up on the night before 7 to register a team of 2 to 6 players. No one-man teams, but if you do show up alone we'll group you up with other people so you make many new friends. There are 4 rounds of 36 questions in all, half of which are gaming related, half of which are general. Also: prizes. Things will be fun.

But if you miss the night (Tuesday, August 16th) and you desperately need to question me on my opinion on Kingdom Hearts or whatever, I'm going to be in Melbourne for the week, and will no doubt be stopping in the bar on several evenings. I'm there for the Freeplay event at the State Library of Victoria, a wonderful festival of independent games and the examination of gaming as culture and all that. I'm taking part in a panel on Sunday the 21st called The Words That We Use in which we'll discuss the importance of criticism and the critical culture around art. There will no doubt be fun to be had. Tickets are on sale for the conference, but there's also going to be a FREE expo with FREE interviews for those of you who aren't committed. Things, too, will be fun.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Mana From Heaven

ZPs: Infamous 2, Alice: Madness Returns, Shadows of the Damned
XPs: Maturity, Infamous 2 and weapons

Now then, you followers of my storied life who live in Melbourne are probably at least dimly aware now that Mana Bar Melbourne, the second of what will no doubt eventually be a McDonalds-like global chain of video game cocktail bars, is opening this Saturday. Tomorrow, in fact, the 16th of July. The bar opens at 12 noon and, as with the Brisbane bar, there'll be free entry and free games for as many people as we're allowed to squeeze in, which is limited, so you might want to start queueing now. The bar can be found at 336 Brunswick Street. Not the Brunswick Street in Brisbane where the Brisbane Mana Bar is, confusingly, the Brunswick Street in Melbourne, in Fitzroy.

I fly out there mere hours after writing this post so I'll be there on the Saturday with a big box of copies of Mogworld to sell and a big pen for signing them with. Regrettably I won't be there on Sunday, some of us actually have lives to lead, can't waste away all our time getting ratarsed and playing Marvel Vs. Capcom, so if you don't make it on the Saturday you'll have to wait for my next fleeting visit.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Blow & Smell

Time enough I think for a new podcast:

Show & Tell Podcast 2 by yahtzee19

This one was recorded a while back and I've been sitting on it for various reasons, hence dated references to E3 and LA Noire, but now it can finally wing its wicked way into your ear sockets. In this, the second podcast officially termed Show & Tell, Gabriel and I discuss the merits of sandbox gameplay, pulp literature and heavy drinking, while arguing over how the format's supposed to work.

I've also invested a little in the hosting provider in order to allow unlimited downloads, so feel free to go nuts. This project is now officially operating at a loss.

Also, trivia night on Monday (the 27th) at the Mana Bar as usual. Less gimmicks this time!

ZPs: Witcher 2, Hunted: The Demon's Forge, Duke Nukem Forever (the real one)
XPs: Adventure games, E3 and E3 again

Friday, June 10, 2011

Third The Dirty Donkey

Attention, regular attendees of Yahtzee's Trivia Night (and non-attendees looking for the excuse to give it a go). We're doing something a little bit weird for this Monday's (the 13th) quiz. As implied by the image below, we're putting a bit of effort into making a really good prize pack, and we're going to give it away to whoever comes third. First and second will still get prize packs, of course, they just won't be as, you know, good.

Why are we doing this? For larks, mainly. Partly it's because I've been keen to experiment with the format lately, partly because while first and second place have a couple of stubborn recurring placements, third place tends to be more of an X-factor. Last time, an all new team won it. Perhaps that will be you, this time?

Oh yes, and just to make this even more of an X-factor, I'm not going to reveal the scores of any teams until the end. You'll only know how well you're doing, and how well whatever the team next to you is doing. That should keep things interesting, shouldn't it.

So come along to the Mana Bar on Monday, June the 13th any time before 7, be you regular or shy experimenting quiz pupae, and bring a team. Or just one other person, but you'd both better be pretty confident with each other's know how. Perhaps a victory could be just what you need to win over your quiz partner into full on mouth kissing, if that's what you've been hanging around them for.

Also: new Show & Tell podcast coming very soon; yes, we remembered to record this one

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Ha Ha Whoops

ZPs: Mortal Kombat, Brink, LA Noire
XPs: Sequels again, finisher porn and TF2

Boy, you would have loved the podcast Gabriel and I vocalised yesterday. I say 'vocalised' rather than 'recorded' because after an hour we noticed that we forgot to get the actual recording device in on the action. Shame. It was a good one. You'd have loved it.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Show & Hell

ZPs: Portal 2 and Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, bizarrely
XPs: Innovation and sequels

But wait! Get ready to spooge yourself stupid because Gabriel and I have recorded another podcast. And this time, we even came up with a format for it. So, may I formally introduce the first official Show & Tell Podcast.

Basically, Gabriel and I both assembled two or three objects without the other knowing, and attempt to discuss them on topic for as long as we reasonably can. In this introductory episode, Gabe questions the role of print in gaming news and totally spergs out over Doctor Who, while my Melbourne adventures somehow segue to the subject of Osama Bin Laden and I bemoan how my neuroses have ruined my danish pastry experiences.

The Show & Tell Podcast 1 by yahtzee19

Well, while you're listening to that I'll also get out of the way the news that Yahtzee's Trivia Night continues to be on alternate Mondays. This Monday, as a matter of fact, May 16th. There's an LA Noire theme for the prizes and the general promise of a somewhat good time with very little browbeating.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Links Awakening

Alright, gonna be a bit of a linkstorm today. I do have a tendency to not update this blog for weeks, so in case anyone actually still reads it you should know that the best way to get the most up to the minute updates on my shit is to follow my twitter (@yahtzeecroshaw) or just check The Escapist regularly. But whatevs, here's the usual business, the ZPs and XPs since the last update:

ZPs: Yakuza 4, Crysis 2, the 3DS
XPs: 100 percenters, locations, invisibility

For those who liked that podcast between me and Gabriel in the most recent previous update, I should think we will be doing more, but in the meantime there's plenty of podcasty action featuring me to keep you going, because not only did I do one with Mikey Neumann for the Escapist, but I also guested recently once again on the Australian Gamer podcast while I was visiting Yug in Melbourne. Blimey, that's a lot of me talking.

In Mana Bar news, you'll all (ALL) be pleased to know that since you demanded it (or rather, a poll on Facebook indicated that you wouldn't mind), Yahtzee's no-holds-barred video game Trivia Night is moving to alternate Mondays, since the Tuesdays were having to be nudged around a lot for events and suchlike. The first quiz of the new regime will be this coming Monday, the 2nd. Bring a team of 2 to 6 people from 6 o'clock and a good time will be had be all.

Hm. That didn't seem like nearly enough links for a linkstorm. So let's recommend another Let's Play. Lately I've particularly been enjoying Let's Play Assassin's Creed by user Geop, who combines an entertaining commentary of the gameplay with interesting and extremely well-researched history lessons giving a little background to the events of the game. It's still on the SA forum so you might have trouble if you're not a member, but the game's nearly finished now so it should be on the LP archive soon.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Casting a pod

In case you weren't at trivia night yesterday and missed this, my next trivia night will only be one week away, on Tuesday the 19th, because there's been so much shuffling around lately and we're trying to get back to the regular two week schedule. So it's next week, and the one after that will be back to being two weeks apart.

Now. I've got a lovely surprise for you today. See, I used to quite enjoy recording podcasts with Yug and Matt but now they hardly do that ever, and I've been hankering to do a bit more unscripted stuff, so for those extremely valid reasons I recorded a test podcast with my friend Gabriel, with whom I frequently converse at the Mana Bar.

Now, full disclosure, this didn't exactly turn out to be the sparkling product I'd been hoping for, it does take a while to get going and when we do the subject does tend to stray constantly towards slightly blue areas. We didn't really have a list of topics or anything and I think if I pursued this then we'd definitely need a more defined structure to keep us in check in future. Also, there's a bit of an audio quality issue in that the podcast recorder was on the charger so there's a bit of an electric buzz in the background.

But for whatever it's worth, here's the experimental Yahtzee-Gabriel podcast. Topics include Gabe's recent trip to Japan, my new 3DS, which millionaire we'd most like to fight and the difficulties one encounters when attempting to bum guard dogs.

Yahtzee & Gabriel wreck a big train by yahtzee19

Sunday, April 10, 2011


Yes, I can confirm that trivia night at the Mana Bar is this week, the 12th, from 6:30. I've got a poster for it now so there's no backsies.

There's Duke Nukem Forever-related prizes and the usual serving of fun to be had. Also, in an unprecedented move, because of the week delay we will be having the next trivia night one week after this one, not two, so there'll be less of a wait this time for the event that keeps your interest in the world alive.

Anyway, ZP was Pokemon White. XP was about Dragon Age 2 romances. And this week I also did a Q&A thing on Reddit because they told me to and I folded like a coward on an ironing board.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Keeping house

ZPs thus far: Two Worlds 2, Bulletstorm, Killzone 3, Kirby's Epic Yarn and Dragon Age 2 (phew)
XPs: Hybrids, Let's Plays, regenerating health, the BAFTAs and death.

I've also started doing a co-operative column with other Escapist contributors called Extra Consideration (I guess the Escapist like running with a theme). It started off between me and the two video creators who make a living from ripping me off, James from Extra Credits and Moviebob, but recent instalments have included Shamus Young and Graham Stark. It's like a League of Extraordinary Gentlemen tag team event for massive nerds.

EDIT - I previously mentioned here that there was going to be a trivia night this week, but apparently there actually isn't and some dafties forgot to mention that fact to me, so it'll actually be next Tuesday (the 12th) instead. Coh.

And I also wanted to give some update on an electronic edition of Mogworld. It's definitely on the cards but the question of when it comes about is one that only the publishers Dark Horse can answer, so your efforts would be better spent nagging them than me. They're working on the delivery method. In the meantime, the physical edition hasn't gone anywhere and is still just as available from all good online retailers, and carries a satisfying weight in your hands that an E-Reader lacks.

Now, one of the XP's listed above was talking up the Let's Play thing, which is a circle of internet hobbyists with too much disposable income to spend on recording materials who play games and make videos of them. I have a lot of interest in the practise, so I thought I'd start using this blog to give individual recommendations of good Let's Plays.

So for today's update let me draw attention to the adventures of helloitsdan and lithuanian dad, who never fail to amuse. Mercenaries 2 is probably their magnum opus to date, hosted on their own site unaffiliated with the LP archive, in which the slightly effete Dan attempts to play mother to the slightly reckless Dad and at one point discover the potential of tugboats as assassination methods. The pair are currently up to their elbows in Lost Planet 2 but you'll need Something Awful forums access to investigate that one, you scrub.

Monday, February 28, 2011

Mortal Blow

So Mortal Kombat (the new one, the reboot that has the same name as the original in another example of that most infuriating practice) has apparently been refused classification in Australia. As everyone should be aware by now, Australia still lacks an R18+ certificate for games and anything that would require it is refused classification and effectively banned. In the past I have frequently expressed my disappointment at this extremely backward and counter-intuitive practice.

But as of now, I am officially done. I give up. You win, Australian censorship. This is the last thing I will ever write about the R18 issue.

Because it has become abundantly clear to me that discussing it, making official complaints and reasonably explaining the entirely logical reasons why the R18 is necessary and its absence makes Australia a worldwide laughing stock, is completely pointless. I and people like me have explained and campaigned until we're blue in the tits. A recent poll showed that the vast majority of the population are in favour of the R18 and the government flat-out recommended that it be introduced.

The reason why we still don't have it is because the final decision rests with the Attorney Generals, who have very clearly demonstrated that their decision is rooted in ignorant personal bias rather than the desires of the majority. In which case, what is the point of being reasonable to people who take pride in their stubborn, pig-ignorant wilful deafness?

But the other reason I'm not going to talk about it again is because it isn't my problem. It'd only be my problem if it in any way stopped games with adult themes being created, and it doesn't. If a game gets RC'ed I will just import it. This almost always works out cheaper anyway because of the insanely high markups games receive in this country.

The people who should have a problem, besides anyone concerned with Australia being perceived as a backward nation, is the parents. Don't misunderstand the issue, breeders: preventing an R18 certificate from being introduced is not preventing adult games from entering the country and corrupting your precious sexcrement. Rather, it encourages importing and pirating, resulting in the game entering the country unregulated and freely available to children of all ages. It also results in the Aliens Vs Predator scenario in which games that deserve R18 certs are given MA15 for the sake of a quiet life, despite being unequivocally adult games.

Yes, this is the same point that has been made time and time again and which will almost certainly be ignored by policy makers just as it always has been, but let me close my involvement in this issue with the main thrust of the argument as emphatic and capitalised as possible. R18 IS NEEDED TO REGULATE THE SALE OF ADULT GAMES AND PREVENT CHILDREN FROM PLAYING THEM. THE ADULT GAMES THAT ARE ALREADY HERE. NOT HAVING R18 DOES NOT PREVENT ADULT GAMES FROM ENTERING THE COUNTRY. OPPOSING R18 IS LIKE OPPOSING VAMPIRE HUNTING IN VAMPIRE LAND ON THE ASSUMPTION THAT IT WILL ENCOURAGE VAMPIRES TO INVADE VAMPIRE LAND EVEN THOUGH VAMPIRE LAND IS ALREADY FULL OF VAMPIRES.

ZPs: Dead Space 2, DC Universe, Mindjack
XPs: American box art, Dead Space 2 and levelling backwards.

Trivia night: tomorrow! (Tuesday 29th). It's got Bulletstorm prizes and the usual evening of larks. Come along from 6:30 as usual.

Sunday, February 6, 2011


ZPs un-linked to thus far: Fable 3, Minecraft and A Shadow's Tale. I'd normally link to the XP columns too, but today I think I'll let you track them down yourselves as a fun little exercise.

Last trivia night went off without a hitch, so hopefully it'd be safe to assume this Tuesday's (the 8th) will go off similarly. So here's the poster. Yes, we actually were able to get someone to sponsor this one.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Quiz-ats Haderach

Alright, this time trivia quiz is DEFINITELY coming back to the Mana Bar this Tuesday, the 25th, the night before Australia Day. Definitely positively no barley cross fingers. So now it has to happen because I've said so. It's going to be the same quiz we never got around to two weeks ago so still themed around the games of 2010. Kick off from 6:30, hope to see you there. THIS time.

ZP: Fable 3. XP: World of Warcraft. That is all.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Floody Hell

Okay, so trivia night fairly obviously wasn't on last Tuesday because someone upended a giant bucket of water onto Brisbane and everyone had to take time out to wring out their socks. To all those of you concerned about my wellbeing, rest assured I was largely unaffected. My street was in an at-risk area but the water didn't rise high enough. Plus I was on the second floor. So we didn't even have our power cut off and if I hadn't left the house and seen all the sandbags everywhere I probably wouldn't even have noticed. About the only times I was directly affected was when I had to have instant noodles for dinner, and when I had an open grill at a cafe I like and it came with very little salad.

The substantially larger number of you who expressed concern for the wellbeing of the Mana Bar (you unfeeling fucks), it wasn't even in the slightest risk, it's at the top of a hill. We even remained open during the flood's peak, not that many people showed up, but what did we expect. So waste none of your concern on me or my business ventures, there are a lot of people in this city who need your concern more. You can donate to the flood relief fund here. Help Brisbane out now and we'll do backsies if your city ever, I dunno, falls into the centre of the Earth or something. Maybe we'll drop some cold drinks down the sinkhole.

So trivia night (the same trivia night we never got around to doing) will be put off a fortnight, to Tuesday the 25th. We like to keep it to a fortnightly schedule, and Tuesday 18th has already been set aside for the Uwe Boll Movie Marathon, which should be a lot of fun. We'll all sit around and make snarky comments in order to feel superior for once in our petty lives. Do come along from 5.

XP this week was a bonus helping of 2010 retrospective. ZP was World of Warcraft, of all things. That was what I did at Christmas instead of buying people presents.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Quizzle Stick

Yes, Yahtzee's Trivia Night returns to the Mana Bar on Tuesday the 11th of January, smeared with lipstick and freshly hung over from new year, and that's why it's going to be a special quiz about the games (and some of the events) of 2010. This will be one of the rare occasions when you have a chance to swot up on the subject matter. As always show up at 6:30 for team registration and we kick the fuck off at 7.

ZPs of late: The top and bottom 5 of 2010. Blimey, was that all? Have I actually updated with timeliness for once? Oh, wait, there was that clip show we did over Christmas, too. Blast. And there's an Epic Mickey XP column as well.